Resolution

I don't know why people are so afraid of new years resolutions. For some reason, many people I've come across seem to be a bit jaded about this practice. I say, make those resolutions and if you break them, "realize the sunrise". There is always tomorrow to start over and rethink/retry/reword/rework/you get the point. What are my resolutions you ask? I haven't thought about them yet, but they involve staying on track with my goal of going to film school and having an amazing time in NYC these next few months. I think broad goals are good because, like many of you, I've tried to set really rigid specific goals for myself (losing the last 10 lbs, drinking less, exercising more, being more open whatever) and they all have seemed to fall by the wayside. So maybe, if I must put it onto paper, 2010 will be more about finding happiness in my flaws and accepting them then trying to fix them or change who I am. That sounds good to me.

What is this blogging thing anyways

So, it's still day 1 of my blogging experience, and I think I might be addicted. It's so much better than writing in a journal, and I don't quite know why. Maybe it's the excitement or validation of knowing, or at least hoping, that someone out in the webosphere will hear me and read my mind. (Literally) Maybe it's the idea that I'm putting all these thoughts down and sending them somewhere that they are "officially" posted. I really don't know. All I do know is that it's fun, and I hope to be able to show people that sharing is connecting and that's all I know to be important in life.

"An Education" - Film Review

I just saw the film, "An Education", directed by Lone Scherfig. What a great movie! I was especially impressed by Carey Mulligan's performance as Jenny and Alfred Molina's portrayal as Jack, Jenny's father. This movie touched on many issues that I faced as an adolescent and still grapple with. Expectations of parents, responsibility, growth, success, the role women play in society, spiritual wealth versus the wealth of truly living in the moment, love and betrayal, adventure vs. coming to terms with "reality" and pain are all themes prevalent in "An Education". Scherfig surely ended the film on a positive note giving us, the audience, a sense of hope and purpose in the future. There are many problems in our society, family lives, institutions and expectations of one another, but this film shows us that there is light at the end of the tunnel; That the lessons learned and mistakes made make us who we are and give us the knowledge necessary to move forward and grow. This film, with a strong, clever and unabashed female lead was a breath of fresh air and I strongly recommend it to anyone in need of some perspective.

Poem- Making it into a short film.

The madness in my destiny. My past in this haze, this blizzard, it is cold. Me, heart and glory, we wander down to the hunting ground and, naked run from one another in this darkness. Ribs break, the moon is my guide. We continue, the track on time, climbing on board, choices derailed and breath shallow. Metal on skin, this lens, the images paused behind my lids. They play out like the laughing dancers inside of the piece of me that gave in. This forest fire. All the glory, wait what is that noise, where am I? A pounding, and I feel her move underneath me. And I can see again. Silk, skin and the milk and honey of our eyes. Dewey in morning light. Saved and I do not fear anything. FFFFFFFFFFFFF. I rise. I learn. I question. Realize your opening heart. Realize your growth. We are free, connected and melting. Lost. We all grow and fade and find energy in these wonderful gifts. The light of us never fully understood until it is gone. The sun reminds us and we wander and search to believe there is some reason, and we fall. Misguided. Beyond the eagle’s song, beyond the steel cut wool white thoughtless truths we are glued to. Lies the answer. We must remember each other, our love, our light and our legends or loose all of the magic we possessed as children. And still we remain, hunted and bruised and beautiful.

First blog ever

So... This is my first blog entry, ever. I'm writing it to keep my friends and family posted on my new adventures in New York City. Why this title? "Realize the sunrise". It's what I say to myself any time I'm feeling low or don't know what to do. It's tattooed on my left side by my heart and represents the idea that there is always tomorrow, there are always new opportunities to make things happen, and there is hope everywhere. Never give up, never give in, and never think you are worth less than your full potential. I'll end it there for now. It's a pretty preachy place to start, but it means something to me, and I'm pretty sure it will resonate with a few of you out there.